Revising Grace

The revision is completed and I am very happy with it. Grace and Worth now spend more time in Thebes, NY, after Worth comes home from Vietnam, and before they leave for Long Island. The decisions I made in January and February, really came together in the past 6 weeks. Thanks to the critiquers, especially Wendy for comments on the Epilogue.

My agent has the revision. From here it is subject to the opinion of others, but it feels good to have my own opinion. I love it. I didn't want it to end. It's shorter and denser than before.

Go, Grace.
Oh, and the last word is "home" which was the last word of the original novel, Wounds, in 1975.
Back to basics.

From a Newly Discovered Blog

A Quoi Bon Dire?

     Seventeen years ago you said
Something that sounded like Good-bye;
     And everybody thinks that you are dead,
                         But I.

     So I, as I grow stiff and cold
To this and that say Good-bye too;
     And everybody sees that I am old
                         But you.

     And one fine morning in a sunny lane
Some boy and girl will meet and kiss and swear
     That nobody can love their way again
                         While over there
You will have smiled, I shall have tossed your hair.

Charlotte Mew, The Farmer's Bride (1916).
http://firstknownwhenlost.blogspot.com/2012/02/quoi-bon-dire.html

100 Statements/Questions About Grace at War

My latest ploy to get back into the novel, saving the good parts and changing the weak ones. It is a journey into thickets and dark corners. So trying. A trial. All my words are in the dock--and I am defendant, judge and jury.

Guest Post

Letting Go of Your Work
By Charlotte Rains Dixon
 
Letting go is hard to do, especially when you're trying to let go of your creative baby.  I know, because I'm in the midst of sending my novel to another round of agents.  Now, if you're in the muddle in the middle of your novel right now, it may be hard to anticipate that you'll ever have difficulty sending your work out because right now you feel like you'll never be done.  But, trust me.  It is indeed so.  All of a sudden you're nearing the end and your work slows way down.  All of a sudden the thought of sending your baby out into the world causes anxiety attacks of the highest order.  What to do?  Go through the following checklist to make sure you're ready.
 
1.  Critique.  Have you gotten a writing group (I'd not do a thing without mine) or found trusted critique partners with whom to share your work as you finish various drafts?  Have you gone through and over elements of plot and character and made sure they work together and contribute to the novel as a whole?
 
2.  Edit.  Have you gone through the final manuscript one more time, reading as a line editor would?  Have you checked over every bit of grammar and spelling?  And please, please, please, have you made sure there are no red or green underlinings left over from Word's grammar and spell check efforts?
 
3.  Research.  Have you looked for the right agent or publisher to whom to submit your work? Have you drawn up a list and made certain that your potential agents all work with whatever genre you're selling?  Have you carefully read the submission requirements?
 
4.  Gird yourself emotionally.  Have you prepared yourself for the process by remembering that rejection is part of it?  Do you have emotional reserves gathered through whatever works for you—meditation, exercise, yoga, prayer?
 
5. Send it off.  Enough said.
 
6.  Celebrate sending it off.  Are you willing to celebrate your accomplishment?  Of course you are.  Break out the bubbly!
 
7.  Keep working.  Are you ready to keep at it?  To work on building your author platform through social media and other outlets?  Are you willing to start on the next book or article?
 
Source:Writer, mentor, and coach Charlotte Rains Dixon is passionate about helping writers, coaches, entrepreneurs, and creative professionals succeed, achieve, and profit in their careers and lives through writing.  Visit her for more tips and techniques on writing—and living—at www.charlotterainsdixon.com.
 

Easter 1952

I entered this poem in the Pratt Library Poetry Contest! Fingers crossed!

Easter 1952

We march into the spring green cemetery,

the daffodils stupidly on fire and oblivious,

the whole world alive, save one

the one we are here to visit.

My black patent leather Mary Janes

squish in the soggy green grass

as my brother and I approach,

soldiers without weapons,

except for my black plastic zippered coin purse,

inside a dollar, a quarter and a nickel.

We, the reluctant soldiers, aged seven and nine,

are commanded by aunts in black coats and heavy

black- laced shoes,  

a buzzing black hive of grief

that may explode in tears at any minute.

The grass mined with the danger of it;

We are stoic, we are impassive.

We are motherless children

paying Easter respects at gun point of guilt

We advance on her grave, gripping grape hyacinths

To be planted by aunts kneeling on newspapers

Troweling into the living earth.

The ground cries out at our steps.

Leaving

I lose the purse.

One little loss

To stand for everything.

Back Into the Deep Water

Revising the end of the novel per marvelous comments from several editors who wanted more focus on the relationship of Grace and Worth and less on distracting antagonists.The war is the antagonist now as it always was. My agent and I agreed on a plan and a deadline. Briefly sidetracked by a poetry reading last night.
Two examples of new poems:

NYC Cops 1968

“They worked this place over real good,” says Cop 1.

“Yeah, your TVn stereo are gone,” says Cop 2.

The two cops are in my apartment, guns drawn,

I asked for help

When I came down the block and saw my open1st floor window.  

“Um, well, I didn’t actually have a stereo or TV,” I say.

Sorry to disappoint them.

“Look it in here,” Cop 1 is in the bedroom.

“They freakin’ tossed it,” says Cop 2.

True, my clothes cover bed and floor

Every bureau drawer gapes open.

“I left in kind of a hurry this morning,” I confess.

Cop 2 is shocked. “You left this mess?”

Cop 1 holsters his gun, smirks, “Next time, latch your window.”  

I imagine him cuffing and charging me--

bad housekeeping in the first degree.

Watching  Super Bowl XLVI in a Home Theater

Wow, the screen’s so big,

It’s like I’m there

In Lucas Oil Stadium

And Eli’s throwing the ball to me

Me!

Sitting in a comfy recliner

eating M&Ms,

Sorry, Eli.
I couldn’t catch a cold

Let alone a football.

Optimism

Forging ahead with novel 2
Hoping the best for Grace, 'tis true
In November started novel 4
Now 50,000 words (and more)!
As December 12 deadlines near
I believe 2011 is Grace's year

The Next Adventure for Grace at War!

Kate McKean and I met today in Baltimore and we agreed that she will represent the novel! Now begins the search for an editor who will love and nurture Grace into a form a larger audience can embrace. Embarking on this venture with Kate's sure hands on the helm feels just right!

Upon rereading the ms. of Grace at War this morning, I found I couldn't put it down! She had the same reaction reading it on her Kindle! Stay tuned!

Those Guys, That Day, This Heart

 As 9/11 Tenth Anniversary approaches I reprint my piece on "the boys in blue" with whom I worked in FDNY:
      
 Once I had a key that opened every firehouse in New York City. I went into a burning building in Bedford Stuyvesant. I rode with an arson squad in the Bronx. I had a scanner and knew the 10-code: 10-4 “acknowledge”; 10-9 “off the air”; 10-76 “fire in a high rise building.” I went to Medal Day parties and firefighters’ funerals, which had the same menus as the parties and where the same  stories flowed like beer.

 Those Guys

Jack pulled up to a house in Queens just as a firefighter came bursting through a third floor window, his turnout coat in flames. “Not a good way to start the day,” Jack said.

John knew of three young firemen who got trapped in a cellar and stopped communicating on the radio. Just stopped. “They could have been saved,” John said. “They could have been saved, if they had kept on talking.” Their silence still rang in his ears.

 Tommy told about waking up in the bunkroom on Great Jones Street to see the moon in the window, full-fisted, irresistible, calling him. He said, “I’m not afraid of dying in a fire; I’m afraid of dying alone in a chair in the dark.” 

Joey was at 23^rd Street where 12 guys died. “We come up to the scene at the same time as another company and the chief says to us, ‘Go there,’” Joey said. “So we go around the building this way. The chief tells the other company, ‘Go there.’ They go into the store, where, unknown to everyone, the fire’s spread. It’s right under where they go in. They move forward a few feet. The floor drops and they fall into the fire.

“We arrived the same time they did. It could have been us down there instead of those guys.”

That Day

That day 343 New York firefighters died. One of them was my friend, Lincoln Quappe. Linc always wanted to be where the action was—the busiest company, biggest fire, trickiest rescue. With Rescue 2 that day, he was in the heart of the heart of the action. People who knew him said later, “If he had a choice, he would do it again.”

 After Linc’s funeral in October, the local Long Island fire department had a spread. The sun shone, trucks gleamed, grills smoked, and beer flowed like stories. Firefighters from FDNY, from Long Island, and from out of state ate and drank and talked. That day, they talked about funerals and those guys still missing.

This Heart

        This heart is a burned-out building, steam rising from its blackened skeleton. This heart is a silent radio.

       Those guys. That day. This broken heart.

A Trusted Reader's Response to GRACE AT WAR!

...These people (no longer just characters to me) have such intense spirits and they roped me in.  I want to have a beer with Spider and I don't even like beer! ...I was not prepared to see him as the hero second only to Grace.  And Cloud?  She is a gem to this story although I'm worried about her future...but not really I guess because she's more savy than she feels safe to let on.  

The issues that Mason, Doc, Diver,Worth and Spider (and all the others in the demonstrations)... carry around really give the reader a sampling of PTSD... 

This novel doesn't just say war is bad and people suffer.  It tells us about the 2nd, 3rd of 4th levels of suffering.  It educates us about the manners in which people (soldiers, family, community) try to survive through addiction, charity, hostility, denial and devotion.  The book lets you think for yourself...it doesn't make you hate the "enemy" more...it just makes you want to stop the bleeding.  

Worth...breaks my heart...I want him to be okay and I think he will but he'll never "get over it"..impossible.  That's how it is with PTSD, but it looks like he might find a way to co-exist with it.  I'm glad you ended it with him drifting but being loosely in touch.  It gives us hope but doesn't undermine all of the incredible depth you've given us with a fairy-tale ending.    

There are also lessons about helping, loving a person through trauma.  The book shows us to take them exactly where they are, provide safety within the framework of whatever it is they need to do, be ready to listen, give reality checks in strong direct language (commands, if necessary) give unconditional love and expect little because they can't be about giving yet...and then at some point healing begins and they give you the Merc.  

Thank you Susan.  An honor and a pleasure.  These folks will be with me for a long time.  

P.S. Just one more comment for now, this book NEEDS to be published.   

One Voice

Just when things seem to have slowed to a crawl in the muggy heat of yet another 90+ day, an agent asks for 100 pages and I instantly dive into the cool green waters of optimism, refreshed.

War Stories

Incorporating trusted readers'  helpful comments on GRACE and querying YA agents.
The first session of War Stories, a class I conceived and taught at South County Senior Center, is over. Great work by the eight participants. Interesting views about war from non-participants in military, though many had fathers and other relatives who fought in World War II and more recent relatives fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. Two lived through World War II in Europe, one in England, twice bombed in the blitz, and one in hiding in Czechoslovakia. The rest of us lived through wars in the US.


I am editing a book of the class's writings appropriate for Memorial Day weekend. 

To My Readers

I imagine you all engaged in my book and smile. Whatever the verdict, I appreciate the effort! Some of you are reading GRACE in hard copy and some have e-copies, at least one is reading GRACE on a Kindle (thanks to a Mac app that converts pdfs to Kindle-ese)!

Thank you all for helping me move Grace to the public forum.

Full Ms Sent Out

Wonderful to have Grace at War out in the agent world again. Go, Grace!

2011 The Year of Grace

I'm working on Grace using some great comments from Wendy and my own re-seeing of the book. It is humbling and scary. I feel defenceless and yet armed with the power to make the book sing.

Reminds me of therapy, nothing for it but to give myself over--not to grief this time, but to the power of my own imagination. And of the English language.

Revision, the fresh envisioning of a work of one's own hand and mind and heart, is not for wimps.

Coaching Yourself

A good end-of-year exercise! I will get back to GRACE on January 3, 2011.

Ten-Minute Tip: Coach Yourself

by Charlotte Rains Dixon, WordStrumpet

As a precursor to hiring a coach, spend a little time working with yourself. Answer the following questions:

1. What was your biggest writing success in 2010?
2. Your biggest writing problem?
3. If you were coaching yourself, what suggestions would you make to yourself about your writing problem?
4. How can you put these suggestions into action? When will you put them into action?
5. What are your three most important writing goals for 2011?
6. How will you implement them?
7. If you get stalled on these goals, how will you push forward?

Writer, mentor, and coach Charlotte Rains Dixon is passionate about helping writers, coaches, entrepreneurs, and creative professionals succeed, achieve, and profit in their careers and lives through writing. Visit her for more tips and techniques on writing--and living--at www.wordstrumpet.com.

My Brother, Agents, and Writing in Class

For WHM

In this one you are with me and our cousins, Hank and John, in Baldwin, on the south shore of Long Island. It’s 1950 or 1951and we are posing at the edge of a canal in the shipyard where Granddaddy keeps his motor boat. We just got back from our annual day trip through Jones Inlet. You and I stand in the middle with our arms around each other and clearly we take care of each other. We are as plain and sturdy as our scuffed Buster Brown shoes.

Hank and John, wearing sneakers, are aliens from Planet Cousin and we have no clue about them. If you are trying to cheer John up with a hug, it isn’t working. We love the person who is taking the picture, probably our mother or father, though John seems more interested in the ground in front of him.

Over the years to come the tides of our lives will pull you and me together and keep us apart, but we will always be Susan and William, Sister and Brother.

In 2001, from the rocky shore of Nova Scotia, I scattered your ashes in the cold waters of St.Margaret’s Bay, where you once took me for a day trip on your motor boat, Seaweed 2.

Now you travel on the tides to all the waters of the world.

AGENT for GRACE

Sent follow-up #3 to an agent who has yet to acknowledge. This time I re-sent the whole ms. requested in May.
We'll see. Meanwhile the ending is nagging at me, as is the idea of pitching GRACE as "edgy" YA.

IN CLASS

Writing in class with my students for 10 minutes at a time, 7 times a week, is enlightening. I have 7 classes, each meets once a week.) Twice I write on one topic, four times on another, and once a week a class with its own, entirely different, topic. I have uncovered some startling insights this way. The ten-minute student writings are always interesting. This is the only time everyone tackles the same prompt.

Homework is an "invitation," so any topic is acceptable if the invititee has other writing priorities. I often use my own writing as an example in the Invitations. For example, I used the the meditation on Will (2nd from left in picture above) as an example of writing to a person in a photograph "In this one, you are..."

Hospital

This garden’s white and green

Fat with waste-waxed floors

Crisp white machines.

“Good veins,” approves Nurse Thing.

A room with a view of sky.

Last sight; last rite.

This is a garden of wolf’s tongue

And wean balm,

of Queens’ Ears and

Devils’ Teeth.

This is a garden of the sick to death,

A formal garden of the

Never mind.

Dog Days and Reliving Your Scenes

OK, they are supposedly called "dog days" because of the dog star but I know better. Saw a mom toting plastic bags of school supplies trailed by two foot-dragging kids in a hot parking lot, 1 p.m. on a Friday in August, all were bored and tried and hot -- dog days written all over them.

Meanwhile, I am inspired by James Scott Bell:

1. RELIVE YOUR SCENES. Not rewrite. Relive.

Have you ever imagined yourself to be the characters? Tried to feel what they’re feeling? Try it now. It’s not hard. Be an actor.

Often, after I’ve written a scene, I’ll go back and try to live the emotions. I’ll act out the parts I’ve created. Almost always what I feel “in character” will make me add to or change the scene.

You can also imagine the scene, step by step, in your mind. Let it play like a movie. But instead of watching the movie from a seat in the theater, be in the scene. The other characters can’t see you, but you can see and hear them.

Intensify the proceedings. Let things happen. Let characters improvise. If you don’t like what they come up with, rewind the scene and allow them to do something else.

Look at the beginnings of your scenes. What do you do to grab the reader at the start? Have you spent too much time with description of setting? Often the better course is to start in medias res (in the middle of things) and drop in description a little later.

Examine scene endings. What have you provided that will make the reader want to read on? Some great places to stop a scene are:

• At the moment a major decision is to be made.
• Just as a terrible thing happens.
• With a portent of something bad about to happen.
• With a strong display of emotion.
• When raising a question that has no immediate answer.

Keep improving your scenes and your novel will soon develop that can’t-put-it-down feel.

From: "5 Easy Tips to Strengthen Your Scenes," Writer's Digest 8/3/10,

http://www.writersdigest.com/article/5-easy-tips-to-strengthen-your-scenes

Family Time

Great news from Ben-- an agent asked to see more of his novel today. First step in agent search, get pages of the book in his or her hands! The response to his fine query letter came in two weeks. His book is intriguing and well written and I hope she loves it! Good job, Ben!